You know, people just amaze me. They really do.
They are just so stupid sometimes. Most people believe that
everyone else is stupid. Now
you might be asking yourself “But
Fan-Boy Kyle, what the heck does this have to do with comic books?'
It has everything to do with it, my dear friend, everything.
So one Saturday a couple of weeks ago, Steve-Dave and I were, as always,
attending to all of our faithful customers.
(Remember, we here at Collector's Edge Comics care.)
Maybe about halfway through the day, a guy came into the store with
a stack of comics. He placed
them on the counter and said he was looking to them and was wondering if
we were interested. Steve-Dave
immediately took care of him as I waited on anyone else who needed their
books totaled up. Since no
one was in a hurry, I took a peek to see what kind of books Steve-Dave was
scopin' out for a possible purchase.
They weren't pretty. No sir,
no they weren't. Not by a
long shot. Covers were
missing. Pages were torn. I remember one having marker ink scribbled on it.
In one word, they looked like crap.
I, of course, wasn't about
to say this out-loud. It's way out of my current jurisdiction to say
anything of the nature, but I can sure think it.
At least I think I can.
Anyway, Steve-Dave finished looking at the books.
He told the man that if the books were in mint condition (a high
criteria for this being covers still attached to the book), they would be
probably be worth about $1,000. In their current condition, maybe $50 just
because of what they are (This was mostly stuff from the 60's, Marvel
& DC I assume). Then the
offer was announced: "I can give you $10 for them." (Now
remember kiddies, we can’t pay you what their worth if we buy them from
you. We’d go broke. We do
however give you a fair deal.) And
for these books, I thought $10 was way beyond what they were worth.
No one was going to buy these things.
I'm sure we have copies of those particular issues with covers and
no torn pages.
Now this is where the fun begins. The
man looked Steve-Dave directly in the eyes, and said somewhat coldly and
quite irately, "$10? $10?!
That's it?!" Steve-Dave calmly told him that there were other places that
he could take them, or at least give them to some kids to read.
They'd enjoy them. The man continued to ramble: "I don't need this.
I drive a truck. I don't have time for this crap.
I don't need this." Happy
little bugger, wasn’t he?
Okay, remember how I said that the fun had begun?
Of course you do, it's at the beginning of the last paragraph. Well, to contrast that statement, this is where the TERROR
began. As you may have
guessed, the man did not accept the $10.
What did he do? He
picked up the stack of comics and proceeded to the door.
"But Fan-Boy Kyle, that's not scary at all!"
No, that's not. But
you see, he did not actually leave. He
stopped at the door, and turned to our easily accessible garbage cans.
By this point, I might add, everyone in the store was watching him.
He was a bit loud in his previous rant, thus attracting the
attention of other customers.
Now like I said, he stopped by the garbage can, and then did the
unthinkable. He took the
stack of comics and RIPPED THEM APART!
Well, not at first. You
see, it's quite hard to rip a 3 to 4 inch stack of comics in one go.
After watching him struggle for a sec, he took a smaller portion of
the books, and then RIPPED THEM APART!
RIPPED THEM IN TWO! RIPPED
THEM IN FOUR! RIPPED THEM
IN--- well you get the idea.
And no one stopped him. We
couldn't. We were all frozen
with fear, terror, and disbelief. This
was not happening. Sure,
people get offers for their books that they weren't expecting and have
stormed out before. Not most
of the time though, as most people are glad to get any money, since they
don't expect the books to be worth much to begin with.
But no, not this guy. He
didn't accept a practically FREE $10, he took the books that could
probably be sold elsewhere (in a store or on the internet) or even given
to small children to bring joy and happiness into their small primitive
little worlds, and then he DESTROYED THEM.
Yes, they were crappy looking books.
They weren't worth anything, let alone $10.
But still, you just don't do that!!!
Especially not in front of comic book fans!
Okay, so it's not like Krusty the Clown burning "Action Comics
#1" to light a cigar in front of the Comic Book Store Guy (a.k.a.
Louis Lane!) on the "Simpsons", but it was traumatizing
After doing the unthinkable, the man finally stormed out of the store,
presumably to his previously mentioned truck.
We all just kind of stood there for a minute or two longer, still
unable to process what exactly had just happened.
Instead of $10, he ripped the comics up.
Once I regained my senses, I did what I believe anyone in my position
would have done. Steve-Dave
was still mystified, so this was my chance.
I headed towards the garbage can, picked up what was left of the
comics, set them on the counter, and asked for that $10.
Steve-Dave gave me one of those "go poop in a box" looks
and then kindly informed me that I could give them to some kids to read.
Damn, almost had him. Okay,
so no I didn't. But that's
the end of the horrific story.